Nobody's Heard From Me For Months, I'm Doing Better Than I Ever Was.

Call it what you want, but this social media break was a "right thing at the right time" kinda thing for me - and I'd love to share about it with you.

At the end of January, I let you know that I’m taking a six month social media break, and then I made you read all my feelings about it.

It's Been A Long Time Coming, But.

Why stop there? Let’s do it again!

As I’m writing, it’s been seven week since I’ve been signed into Instagram and TikTok, and a week or two off of Facebook. I’ve kept Twitter, which I didn’t think was going to be the case — but it doesn’t have the exact same scrolling allure that all the other apps had, and I just need to know the surprise songs and the latest theories on where Kate is.

The difference this break has made in my life feels… remarkable. It took me about a week before I felt FOMO, and then I felt it a bit, here and there. That’s mainly dissipated as I find myself looking forward to the next nineteen weeks of this pause.

The largest change for me has been: I’m not sucked into a black hole of scrolling. With the step away from it, I can’t believe the siren call my phone called out to me. I’ve always struggled with things that are designed to be addictive, because I have a personality that is pre-disposed to be easily addicted, it seems. (This is why having Candy Crush on my phone - or any other games - is a giant red flag for my mental health.) I see now how much scrolling was really a compulsion, an addiction, some background noise I allowed too much space in my life for.

The first few weeks, my life felt so full that it was kind of a relief to be off of it. I remember thinking, “It’s good to have one less thing on my plate right now.” And even now, with a lot more time on my hands, I still feel that way!

There have been things I’ve noticed — both good and bad about the break — that I thought I’d share.

Things I’m Noticing in My Practice of Being Off Social Media:

1. Social media is an incredibly powerful numbing tool for me. That feels most noticeable to me now that I’ve taken a step back. That said, if I want to find something to numb out with, I can. Enter my Grey’s Anatomy binge watching.

2. For me, the long break (with the long mental runway beforehand to prepare myself) is absolutely what I needed. And what I needed was to break some compulsive bad habits for me. The constant reaching for my phone and flicking through the apps. The curating and performance I’d do through my little screen. It’s been very good to step away from.

3. My attention span feels restored. My ability to be present & focus on things in front of me feels like it’s returned. This is really joyful for me.

4. How did people remember birthdays before social media? Have I ever remembered birthdays? I want to get a new birthday/perpetual calendar that I like, find a place to hang it in my house, and add all of our friend’s birthdays to it and then also, start taking actual friendship notes and making friendship files. And intentionally reaching out to friends! Basically, social media was a great tool for maintaining friendships, but there’s work to be done beyond maintenance as I’ve stepped away from the socials.

5. I take fewer photos. That’s actually the saddest part to me - because I do miss documenting my life through photos. I’m thinking about doing a photo challenge soon, or at least trying to take more photos. Even on my film camera!

6. I fall more and more in love with Substack every day (and it’s nice to feel like I can actually make it to the end of a post with reaching most of the words, instead of starting to skim a paragraph in).

7. My overall life motivation is way up. Instead of being paralyzed by watching everyone else’s life, I’m able to get up and go do the things.

8. On a recent vacation, my sisters would gently explain what was happening on TikTok and Instagram to me, which I thought was hilarious & is truly everything to me.

9. I do feel like I’m not as in touch with the news, and I’d like to dream up a solution for that.

10. Online friends are real and that’s a joyful truth. There are buddies I really miss on these accounts, people I only know because of Instagram. AND. What used to feel so important (the people I follow on social media) is what I forget now. I forget who I followed — who I used to compulsively check in on. I feel released from the pressure of knowing how everyone is all the time.

11. Speaking of that, I’m not comparing my life against the people I follow — and that probably deserves a journal entry before I talk about it more here.

12. I think about spending money way less - I’m served far fewer ads, and I feel really released from performing with purchases, which was one of those unconscious social media things that was happening.

13. I’m feeling a lot more in tune with what I like and what is important to me — things that I felt like were on the back burner for whole chunks of social media obsession time. If I pick something up or choose to do something, it’s never because “Oh, I saw that on social media” - it’s because I’m picking it up myself and doing it. (Some of it is now: I saw inspiration on Pinterest, because I can spend time on other apps now that Instagram reloading isn’t SUCKING ME DRY.)

I know this isn’t a fix for everything in my life, nor is a big break like this something everyone can (or wants) to do. And these things I’m noticing some days feel so trivial, and other days, feel life changing.

I share all of this with you, not to make you step back from the internet, or delete all social media, or do something else drastic. I share this because… I make sense of the world when I’ve journalled it for myself and then share it with some buddies.

But I also want to encourage you, too.

I want to tell you that if you’ve been considering a break, wanting to take a back from scrolling and social media, or just needing less noise, you absolutely should do the thing. Take the step back, delete the apps (for longer than a day or a week), and start noticing what’s happening in your life.

I truly cannot recommend it enough.