For a while now, I’ve been wanting to write more for this newsletter and today, I begin. A State of the Newsletter post is coming before the monthly round up on the 24th, but I’m working towards making things less scrolly by parsing out an essay earlier in the month. And this has been rolling around my head and refuses to be not shared about, so enjoy!
THE GOAL OF 2023 IS TO PAY ATTENTION.
In late January, I made it back to my therapist’s black leather couch. After we get through the assessment of how I feel about leaving my job, we get to the 2023 goals.
My therapist says, “I love our January sessions. I like all of our sessions, but our January ones are always my favourite.” (Thanks, Jenny; I will be unbearable about this for forever.)
I agree with her. January Hannah is A Vibe. January Hannah is future oriented. She is thinking about how she can incorporate her goals into every day life. She is using her planer; she is making lists; her whiteboards have game plans; she is (semi) On Top of It. The goal lists are everywhere - in the journal, in the Notion, in anywhere where I can be reminded. They are parsed out into monthly bullet journal recaps.
I am a New Year’s Person! Riding that dopamine hit of a fresh year all the way into the February blahs.
And I’m wading through a little bit of tension in writing about this. Part of it is those February blahs are here! Part of it is that every time I open up a “what should I write for the newsletter” suggestion, the topic of goals come up. And having a goal list does not rid you of your chaos muppet tendencies - so the achieving of goals is not linear and/or not always happening. And what I’m about to share - they’re not big achievements I’m working towards! Some of them are just to pay attention to things. All of that feels weird. If it feels weird, I’m probably avoiding it. Which is why I’ve procrastinated writing this.
Anyways.
All that to say, February Hannah is really excited to share a little bit about my goals with you — and in whatever other months the fancy strikes.
THE GOALS - 2023
The 2023 goal list has 23 things on it. There are categories - the Big Three, financial, hobbies, fitness, fun, and more. And some of the goals are very clear - make a meal each week and document it (#HannahCooksMoer). Run a half-marathon. Write notes to 30 people who have really influenced me.
And some of the goals this year - actually, a lot of them - are just to wake up and pay attention. Sometimes, the overarching goal vibe for the year is to notice in a world that is designed to numb you out; to move through mindfully in a world that is begging for you to move through mindlessly.
Two areas where I’m trying to do this a lot? Clothing and money.
CLOTHING AND MONEY: THE ORIGIN STORY
If I’m looking back, 2022 was a mixed bag overall. It held a lot of discerning and change. And! at major times, I handled it poorly.
It just came up in memories - there was a time last February where I went shopping and bought stuff because I felt like crap and that’s the habit, that’s the pattern. Why do I think a new sweater is going to fix my problems? All the beige sweaters I bought last year are saying, “I can’t fix you, I am just a sweater.”
I am constantly impressed by people who are moving through their lives thoughtfully and intentionally. For years, I have seen my friend
do this remarkably well. She is thoughtful about what she brings into her closet, and I've been inspired by that posture (especially in a year where I was not being very intentional!).There was some good, as there tends to be in a mixed bag. In August, Dave and I did a no-spend month and it was very GOOD - so I knew I wanted to do that again this year, more intentionally.
And another thing! Something that gets me is the mindlessly spending - or not checking in on what is actually happy spending1 to me. So I wanted to make a goal to track my personal spending - a lot of our daily core spending gets tracked, but I've paid less attention to my personal spending. I wanted that to change.
There are some things I wanted a total reset and refresh on.
CLOTHING AND MONEY: THE GOALS
Maybe they’re not super huge goals, maybe they’re Maybelline.
The goals are four-fold2.
Buy only one item of clothing each month.
I work really well with strict boundaries around what I can and cannot do. Cool if that’s not the case for you; it is for me! This is one way for me to be really mindful of what I’m adding to my closet. Does it really meet a gap I have? Is there an opportunity for me to save for an investment piece, to buy from an ethical clothing company? So far, this has done well - I didn’t add anything to my closet in January or February (Dave bought me a sweater as a “Congrats on your new job” but me and my strict boundaries are staying on our high horse about it.)Have two “no-spend” months in the year.
As I mentioned above, Dave and I have done this in the past and it’s been great. I always like what I learn from having stricter boundaries. It’s as much an exercise in noticing my habits as it is an exercise on self-control and practicing saying no. We did one in January that went well, so maybe I can hit three for this!Track all of my personal spending.
It’s the ministry of freaking paying attention. I recommend.Track all my clothing wears with Wear Tracker.
Inspired by Lauren (
), I wanted to pay attention to what I have and love in my closet. And what I don't reach for!
CLOTHING AND MONEY: WHAT I’VE NOTICED SO FAR
One of the things I do regret about last year is numbing out by not noticing. I feel like a whole year of my life happened in a fog. I was so scared that if I paid attention to the full picture, I was going to have to deal with things. Now, I wish I had paid attention earlier so I knew when it was time to take action. Maybe this is too much attention and space to give to four goals; maybe it’s healing; and again - maybe it’s Maybelline.
Weartracker has been really helpful in getting me to pay attention to my closet again. In order to log more things into the app, I’m reaching for different pieces of clothing - while also knowing what I gravitate towards.
Also, logging all my clothing in WearTracker is a constant reminder that I have everything I need - some would say more than enough! This is part of why I’ve been able to not buy clothing so far in 2023.
Another reason why I’ve been easily able to SAY NO to buying clothes: I’m using
's Pinterest hack. (If you need to figure out how to use Pinterest for all of your life, talk to Lauren for five minutes. You'll leave with five new ideas for a Pinterest board.) I'm not going to do the idea any justice (so read Lauren's newsletter for why and how this works), but my summary is: Lauren uses inspiration from Pinterest to get dressed in the morning. Adapting this for my own purposes has been a gift for me. Call it what you want (I - and my Mom - will call it a style rut), but working from home, in a place where your outfit does have to keep you warm and work under a coat, with boots... I'm not inspired to get dressed often. This has been really helpful in giving me new ideas on how to wear (and layer! and style!) my clothes. But it is also helping me to think about the clothes I already have.And in all of this, I’m noticing how I could learn to better take care of the clothes I have. Or what clothes just need a refresh. (Look at you, all my pilling sweaters.)
ANOTHER ONE. I’m noticing what clothes I wear and use a lot that are worthy of investment. What is worth buying, or working towards it being totally and enthusiastically right?
This year, keeping a robust wishlist of what I want is really helpful to remind myself of what I actually want and what I’m saving for. (A gap in my current wardrobe: a dress I love wearing. A want I have in my closet: an ABLE jean jacket.)
In my no-spend month, I noticed that one thing that’s hard for me is not being able to support local coffee shops. In past no-spend months, I’ve loaded up a gift card (in advance of the month) for Starbucks, to be able to still have a Silly Little Treat and have coffee dates with friends. Next no-spend month, I’m going to load up a gift card for a local coffee shop that I love.
I’m really paying attention to what I consider happy spending. Well, I’m trying to. I went out for a planned dinner with friends in January and impulse ordered a second margarita. And on a weekday worknight, it wasn’t worth it. When I tracked it in my journal, I noted that I don’t think that was happy spending.
You know what I did notice was happy spending? Having coffee with friends, rather than little treats for me. (I, too, was shocked at this revelation.)
I also noticed that one area where I could stop my impulse spending in it’s track was properly eating before going to appointments somewhere, or having water and snacks with me. That is not me at present; it will be for the rest of 2023. It also helps because I let some of my needs get so bad that only quick fixes will do - I need to stop thinking in survival mode and get into thinking for thrive mode.
I’ve noticed that reminding myself of the following is game-changing: “I’m a person who saves money”, “I’m a person who spends thoughtfully”, “I’m a person who is good with money.” It feels less true than others; but what did Atomic Habits tell us about identities and habits? etc.
IN SUMMARY:
I would just like to tell you to pay attention to your ordinary day to day. That’s it.
You should notice what you spend and wear and feel and what was good and what was not. What you like; what you don’t.
Now more than ever, I just urge you to find a way to pay attention to one area of your life. (See, it masquerades as a newsletter about goals but here I am, appealing.)
Write things down in your phone notes. Take a picture. Do the one second day video. Log your habits.
I just really believe that paying attention is how we wake up a little bit. How we push out the fog and let the numbing fade out. How we get the feeling back. How the light gets in. How we take a step on a path.
Cheering you on, pals.
It’s hard to end a post like this without feeling like you’ve fumbled the ending of a gymnastics routine. But if you have thoughts, goals, or things you’ve noticed this year, I’d love to hear them in the comments below. 🥰 Thanks for being part of the Hannah Notes Moer community!
a term taken from Worry Free Money by Shannon Lee Simmons. Dave and I both read this book in our first year of marriage and it was SO GOOD to create a foundation for our budgeting and spending and everything.
love the line: “I need to stop thinking in survival mode and get into thinking for thrive mode.” So good!!!
I think this was the articulation of what I’ve been trying to summarize 2022 as and how I’ve been feeling. Just survival mode and not really aware of what’s going on.